Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Lack of Photos, Surplus of Ambition, and Big Changes

Lately, I haven't been taking many photos for fun.  I have a series in my head that I will be putting into action... eventually... but I am mostly just enjoying the freedom of NOT having a business and NOT  having to take pictures at all times.  The things you love can lose their charm when you do them for monetary gain.  I shot my final wedding on the books last weekend.  It was lovely and I really enjoyed it, I LOVE the bride and groom and their families... but I am glad to step away from that capacity.  It just wasn't ME.

The actual writing I've been up to has been on a little bit of a hold as I delve into research and, of course, continue to read insane amounts of fiction.  I have an addiction to fiction.  I admit it freely and without shame.  I have no plans of going into remission, or seeking help in the matter.  Don't judge me.

Bear and I are trying to quit smoking.  Again.  We have these nifty little futuristic electronic cigarettes that give us a dose of nicotine without all the tar and other chemicals of a traditional cigarette.  Bear is doing really well, having completely switched over.  I still have two "real" cigarettes a day, one with morning coffee, one before bed.  If I don't have a pack in my possession (it doesn't have to be ON my person, just so I know I can have my two smokes at home) I literally have a panic attack.  So this addiction is hard to kick, but I am proud to have dropped from a pack-a-day smoker to a two-cigarettes-a-day-and-a-few-drags-if-nicotine-from-an-ecigarette smoker.  It's not perfect, but it IS better.

I've also been trying to eat healthier.  I have never had a large appetite.  Ever.  I am lucky if I remember to eat a meal in a day.  So I have been making that one meal I typically eat something that is better for me, with more balance.  I limit the amount of soda and crap I drink, I don't drink a lot of alcohol (sometimes I go through "I hate booze" phases, too), and I try to make myself walk places more often and do physical things.  My energy level is up and my pants size is down two sizes (almost three)! 

It's a LOT of change.  But, it had to happen at some point.  It's really hard to try to keep it all up at one time, although I keep telling myself I CAN do it and I WILL do it.  I WILL meet my NaNoWriMo goal for 2012.  I WILL create a comprehensive art photo essay and I WILL submit it for a gallery exhibition.  I WILL stop smoking.  I WILL lose the last 15 pounds I want to lose.  Why?  Because I CAN.

What things are you trying to change in your life?  What are your goals for the year?  Best of luck!
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  1. tOtally relate to the eating healthier challenge. There is nO reason why I can't buy organic or from the Amish aLL around me. Our problem right now is budget, but mostly it's my hate-to-shop attitude. I hardly eat either. For instance today I had water until I couldn't take it anymore, then I had a slice of garlic bread, and later a small slice of cake someone offered me. And I'm going to bed on that stomach. My other half is the opposite and constantly wants food. I need to get set up on one of those planned meal programs.

    Being camera-less has been less difficult than I was prepared for. While I still cannot wAit to get her back, I have become that much more selective in the moments I capture.

  2. Goodness, that is a lot of change! Good luck! I'm trying to eat healthier too.
    And I get what you mean about the camera. I find that the more portraits and/or weddings I'm doing, the less I want to capture my own moments. Sad but true.


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