I spent quite a while away from the Bloggersphere. I considered returning before now & wrote a few drafts. Nothing stuck. I was in a place personally that needed reflection. I wasn't sure where I was myself, let alone where I was publicly. A lot of answers have fallen into place now. I feel like I am filling in some holes, figuring out my life. Finding myself, honoring myself, becoming myself all over again.
A whole lot of growing up has gone down since my last entry, particularly with Rue. She is such a headstrong toddler now! I cannot even believe that the baby she was is melting way so quickly, revealing this cheeky, effervescent tot who has personality up to her eyeballs & oozes magic from her very pores.
Every day, the first thing this little girl does is kiss me good morning, crawl from the bed, collect various dress-up items, & mount her noble elephant steed, Hasya. One day, her get-up included a pashmina worn as a wig, a white wicker sunhat over that, a crocheted scarf around her slender neck, & a regally upheld rolling pin, clutched tightly in one chubby fist. She was the Eclectic Maharaja, off to impress the commoners of her realm. I, cast as all the commoners, was duly impressed.
She loves to create. I marvel at the way her mind works. She lives so JOYOUSLY, it is wondrous to behold. Everything in her world can be easily turned into a song. Did you stub your toe? There's a song for that. Kneading bread? Sing the bread-kneading song! Taking a bath? There happens to be a catchy chorus that involves the blowing of bubbles & splashing of hands. She lives art. Actually, she eats art. Or, crayons, anyway. Still, I have a gallery wall of her masterpieces in my office that always makes me smile. And don't even get me started on the DANCING! There is always a dance. There is a bedtime ballet & a morning jig, a mealtime minuet & a playtime tap routine.
I feel guilty for neglecting my blog, & whatever readers I may still retain, but I want to be honest. I have been SO busy LIVING. I am drinking in every precious moment. Every silly song, every uncoordinated dance, every work of art that also represents a waxy snack snuck behind my back. I cannot feel guilty about choosing to give this phase of my life all of my attention, instead. So, I won't.
Here is a story of a magical little girl, born the night the moon dipped close to the earth, brushing the clouds to witness her first cries, tinting the sky a hint of red, reflecting all our hopes & dreams through that hospital window. A little girl whose name was Ruby but whose eyes were sapphire. A little girl who sings instead of talks, who dances rather than walks, & who splashes color across the canvas of our lives.
There are many things I was, & many things I am, & many other things I will become. At the heart of it all, I am Mama in this turn of the wheel, & I cherish that. I know the focus of this blog will now be my journey in motherhood, with a sprinkling of the other parts of my life. I think the future of this platform will vary greatly from that of the past. I have stories inside of me that long to escape; they will likely pour themselves from my fingertips onto this page. I have images that capture the love of my life, which is the magic of my world, & they will be integral. I will write when I want, how I want, posting images I want to show the world; & I will do so organically, without agenda, without schedule.
I hope you will enjoy the ride, too.