Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Becoming a Quitter...

I have been a fairly heavy smoker since my eighteenth birthday.  My day usually consists of: get up, have a cigarette, eat something, have a cigarette, drive somewhere, smoke the entire time I am driving, get to work, have a cigarette every two hours, drive home smoking, get home, have a cigarette with Bear, eat dinner, have a cigarette, go to bed.

See?  Heavy smoker.  And I am trying to quit which is the hardest thing I have ever undertook in my life.  My day now is: get up, talk myself out of a cigarette, have breakfast, watch TV and do laundry to ignore urge for cigarette, drive in car with windows up and sing along to music to avoid urge for cigarette, go to work and find interesting things on internet instead of having cigarette, chew gum, have dinner at work and read a magazine rather than run out for... you guessed it... a cigarette, drive home with windows up again and more music, get home, have a snack, get involved in some sort of activity until I fall asleep so as to avoid smoking.


I can't wait until my day doesn't consist of me thinking about cigarettes every ten minutes!  I can't wait until I get up and have breakfast and play piano for an hour or something and go through a whole entire day without the word "cigarette" crossing my mind once.  Because, as an addict, the mental desire to have one is so much more than the physical need to have one.

Do I sometimes cave and have one?  Yes.  But so far this LAST EVER pack of smokes has lasted me six days.  This is incredible for your average just-under-a-pack-a-day smoker!  Some of you have no idea.  Some of you do.  I am so proud of myself for doing so well!

I know myself, and knew cold turkey was not the way to go at it... I would only stress out and give in in the long run.  Sure, this way is longer and I feel guilty when I do have a cigarette, but I let it go and try not to look back.  By next week, I will hopefully be an Ex!

Anyone else trying to kick a habit?

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