Middle of the Night Memories

It's 4 AM.  I woke around 3 AM, after falling asleep around 1 AM, with a very uncomfortable little Rue fussing at me.

We've been dealing with the dreaded first fever, & I am running on an average 2-4 hours of sleep a night.  Sometimes, I have to think back to when I was carrying this little bundle & looking so forward to mamahood.  I have to think back before the fatigue, the breast-milk stained everything, the painful physical changes, the actual labor, the anxiety.  I have to remember the calm before the storm.

Our friend Heather gave me some beautiful images to help me remember the excitement.  The hope.  The anticipation.










Despite the sleeplessness, the stress, the moments of "will she ever stop crying?!?!"... it's all worth it!  I know I was born to be Rue's mama.  I have always wanted her, & I will always want her.

And now?  Here is hoping I get a little more sleep tonight!

Life With Rue- A Month After Birth

I cannot believe that tomorrow our baby will be seven weeks old.  SEVEN WEEKS!  How did we get here already?  My mind is a whirlwind of activity.  I cannot quite process the last seven weeks, & I am realizing with a heavy heart that my maternity leave is drawing to an end, & I still have been unable to secure a daycare for Rue.  There are a lot of things to figure out logistically.  This is another one of those things you don't really consider during pregnancy.  Unless you are lucky enough to already be a stay-at-home, or have planned to become one, daycare spots are almost as competitive as colleges & nearly as costly.  The time between delivery & returning to work is not nearly enough to feel like your child is off to a good start, let alone to get all your ducks in a row for childcare in the first place.

But I digress.

The past month & a half (almost 2 months!) flew by.  I feel like just yesterday I was caressing my swollen belly, wondering if I would have a son or a daughter, imagining the moment they snuggled to my breast, when I would whisper their name into the whorl of their ear.  And then that happened with Rue, & somehow we are already several days, weeks, & pounds later.

Some of the highlights of the last few weeks have been the Big Latch On, our visit to Children's Hospital for our hip sonogram (normal!) followed by a little fun at the National Harbor, bath & shower time with Mama, meeting new faces as friends & family visit us, & leisurely sleepy days in between.











Then we had our belated one month photo taken with our elephant friend for scale.  I couldn't pick which one I liked best, so I picked a few.  Rue surprised me & sat up from her boppy!  I keep forgetting how strong our baby is.  She wants to sit up on her own, & she came out of the womb able to hold up her head & look around.  She amazes me!






There are a few more photos over on my Flickr account, as well.  I also keep an ongoing phone photo & memo diary via VSCO's app website.  I love it, & welcome you to view that page as well!  It's a bit like my iPhonography Journal, but specific to mamahood.

I can't believe my little squish will be 2 months old in a week!  Where has the time gone?!?!

Ruby Dawn: The Beginning

It happened!  On June 22, 6 days after her due date, our baby GIRL was born!  I am just going to type up what I wrote for Rue in her "1000 First Days" book here.  But first, a photo collage of the last month or so of iPhone photos to reward you all for putting up with the silence of my blog!



And now, the story.

"I thought I was going to have you early, but I was wrong!  Labor technically began 3 days before you were finally born.  Contractions were 15 minutes apart on average from Wednesday until Saturday, June 22, at 11am.  Suddenly, contractions were a mere 2 minutes apart!  Your Daddy had gone to town to run some errands & wouldn't be home for another 15 minutes or more!  I called my mom, who came straight over.  By the time she arrived, I was panicking.  I was in a too-small tee shirt & PJ shorts, clutching a food warmer to my abdomen & crying!  Your grandma calmed me down & you Daddy arrived home.  Soon, we were in the car, headed to the hospital (an hour drive!).  Daddy drove with me in the passenger seat & Grandma behind me.  During a contraction, they both held my hands while Grandma timed them on my labor app on the iPhone.

When we arrived at the hospital, they hooked me up to a fetal monitor to see how you were doing.  As usual, you hated being monitored, & my birth plan was changed from occasional monitoring to full-time monitoring, so they could try to keep tabs on you.  I was put on an IV drip for dehydration, too, but I was also allowed to drink water throughout labor.  I labored about 8 hours unmedicated, until I was 90%+ effaced & 9cm dilated.  Then your vitals went off-line for a long time.

I got an emergency epidural in case we needed to go into surgery for a cesarian.  I kept telling your Daddy how scared I was, how I wanted so badly to birth you free of drugs!  But he reminded me how I could be brave for you.  Despite my phobia of needles, the epidural was safely in place after 2 bouts of very intense contractions (I had to stay perfectly still!).  The drugs were on the lowest setting, but I still was able to fall asleep.

Soon, it was time to push.  I pushed & pushed & couldn't really feel if you were moving down.  A nurse set up a mirror so I could see.  When you crowned- so much hair!- I had to keep you there for a while, stretching me out.  I thought about how they broke my waters & nothing but blood came out.  I was worried that my body was no longer safe for you.  Your head stretched me wide & it hurt- I wanted you out!  Another set of pushes & I saw your face!  It was scrunched & red & it looked like it was in the wrong place, but I didn't have a lot of time to think about it because with one last push you slid into this world.  Your cord had been wrapped around your neck, but the doctor slid it over your head in the moment before you tumbled out of me.  I reached down & grasped you under your arms & pulled you to my chest, feeling your legs side out of my body.

Your Daddy & I cried as you cried & I told you your name, 'Ruby Dawn.'  We marveled at you until your cord stopped pulsing & your placenta was born.  I began to breastfeed you as your Daddy cut your cord.

You were your own person for the first time."









Our labor day was SO busy for the hospital- we were only one laboring couple in the filled up ward... more laboring women had to be set up in other areas of the hospital until one of us birthed our baby & vacated a birthing suite!  Another woman was experiencing the same complications we were, but she was not as severe a case... it was expected that we would need a cesarian or at the very least, foreceps-assisted birth.  Our midwife assisted the lower-risk mother, while we met the OB for the first time.  She was as wonderful as our midwife, & committed to giving us a birth experience as close as possible to what we envisioned.  She sang hilarious songs to Rue as I labored & kept telling the best jokes... it was like being in a comedy club, which really helped me to relax & stave off the panic that I would need surgery.  In the end, I birthed my baby vaginally under my own steam, no assistance needed!

I have never been so tired, so exhilarated, so scared, so sure, & so happy in my life.  Birth is a process, an indoctrination into mamahood.  It isn't easy, the recovery is long & arduous, & the actual event is harrowing & amazing all at once... & it is all worth it.

I am a mama!

Making People

I have a lot to catch up on, but I have been pretty exhausted making my little person!  I am feeling kicks on a regular basis now, & have even had Braxton Hicks (I think, it's hard to tell what is happening the first time you feel something!).  Squiggle is growing like a weed, & I am beginning to look very pregnant.  Sometimes, I am excited about this.  Other times, I wish I remember what it was like to glance down & see my feet, or to lay flat on my back comfortably, or to fall asleep quickly on my stomach.  Overall, we are very excited & I love feeling our little one getting comfortable!  Here is a photo dump of iPhone/IG pictures...



Writing love letters to our little one.  I keep this book with me all the time.



Serious pizza cravings.  Bear makes the BEST homemade pizza.  I am spoiled!



Fruit is another major staple in my diet these days.  Cannot get enough!



Hey there, Squiggle belly!



Glimpsing toes.



Bumped.



Good-bye, feet.

To keep up with my daily photos, follow me on Instagram (@Marizabeth), click on the link to my iPhonography journal from the top navigation bar on the blog, or keep an eye on this Flickr Set!

I had a few adorable sessions recently as well, & I cannot wait to share them here!  I posted a few teasers over on my Facebook page.  I am also really motivated to inspire creativity in myself & others for 2013.  Please "like" my page if you are interested in being a part of Creation Resolution 2013!  There is also a contest I am running over there.  If you enter & are not local to Southern Maryland & win the prize, we can work out an alternative to the photo shoot (only for local applicants).  If you just want inspiration to help you have a more creative year, that's great, too!

Thanks for stopping by, I will be back SOON with client work & adorable stories!  I also have a couple tutorials in mind for the near future...

xo

Our First Anniversary!

Squiggle is seriously growing fast!  I have started a 365 project via Instagram (username Marizabeth) that I use every day, often chronicling my growing belly!  This is the view I often have of my feet...



Squiggle pushes hard to my left, so I frequently notice a bulge to that side.  It's a little strange!

We went to Williamsburg, VA for our one year anniversary/ babymoon.  It was so fun, even though it was only a weekend!  Patchie & her Boy happened to book the same weekend in the same place.  Her Boy's grandmother had a timeshare & gave us a unit for the weekend, so we didn't even have to stay at a hotel!  We cancelled our original reservations & were incredibly grateful for the monetary savings!  Not to mention, it was awesome to spend the weekend with some of our favorite people!



We love the historic shopping area.  This time, we found this adorable bookstore, Mermaid Books.  It was the most amazing place; full of vintage literature, valentines, & items.  If you are ever in the area, I strongly suggest checking them out!  Particularly if you are a bibliophile & vintage fanatic such as myself.





Bear was a sucker for the Cheese Shop.  We stopped by there every day.







I am not a cheese connoisseur, so stinky cheeses were not very exciting for me!  That makes the place doubly interesting to Bear, who rarely gets to indulge in fancy cheese when this keen pregnant nose is about!

I loved shopping the Colonial inspired shoppes, looking for the perfect nursery items for Squiggle.  I found a few gems!





I nearly bought "Goodnight, iPad" because... when was "Moon" replaced by "iPad"?!?!  It was too bizarre not to snap a quick photo of.

We all went to brunch our last day in Williamsburg at the Blue Talon Bistro.  Everyone had mimosas or bloody mary's, while I enjoyed my daily allotted single cup of coffee, grapefruit juice, & "nearly famous Historical tap water".  Squiggle has driven me to vegetarianism for the most part, so I made a meal of a delicious carrot cake muffin & huge fresh fruit platter!  Thanks, preggo cravings!  Mmmmm... wonderful fresh fruits!








They had such a wonderful ambiance, too.  Patchie & I kept finding semi-hidden, not-intended Doctor Who references!  Alons-y!





Of course, I did not grab a shot of the references (fail).  But the ceiling was gorgeous!

We had a wonderful time in my favorite place in the world.  I can't wait to bring Squiggle there when he/she is older!

Hope your New Year is going well!

xoxo