Yeah, I deserve that award.
I've been MIA for a few reasons. One, I heard from my awesome
Auntie Lynn, our wedding photographer, that photos were en route. My OCD determined that I couldn't really blog about the honeymoon until I could blog about the wedding, since that would be a travesty and go against chronological order. I can't have that, it would bug me for all time!
Yes, that is an image from our wedding day, as we were getting dolled up. I brought the poopourri... because everyone poops, but our room didn't need to smell like it if the need arose.
Two, I've been going through some rough patches in my personal life (which happen periodically, but lately I feel like real tragedies have peppered my life in the past year or so). Our first family mini-daucshund, Shadow (whom I have blogged about) was put down this past Saturday at 18 1/2 years old. Which made him roughly 150 in doggie years. His heart was going strong, but his eyes had completely receded and deteriorated, his arthritis was awful, and his teeth and mouth were really falling apart. We loved him and hated to see him go, but we hated to see him in so much pain even more. When his hind legs gave out, we knew it was time. It was rough, but we were all prepared for it. Well, as prepared as you can be to bury your best friend since you were barely seven years old.
As awfully sad as the sad parts of life are, other parts are equally exciting. Bear and I are beginning to save up money and plan for our future, which is something I am constantly daydreaming about. We have some pretty huge trials we've had to face in our very new marriage already, but we are ready to start looking forward to endless possibilities. I can't go into details (I feel like I am always saying that on here), but I am really optimistic about our goals!
Tax season is upon us and that means getting W2s from two jobs and hunting for where exactly I filed all those receipts and booking info for my own business. I hate this part of owning a business. Then I thought about it more and realized... I am not all that enthusiastic about running a business altogether. I understand that hard work is involved and that you can anticipate losing money in the first five years of operation, but that wasn't my issue. I hate asking people for money. I hate the pressure of pricing my work and factoring in all the hours of editing, creating albums, maintaining websites... I just love taking the photos and making beautiful memories. It occurred to me that asking for money from it makes it feel like a dirty business to me. And therefore, this is not the path for me to take. So I began figuring how many bookings I still have, determined to honor those, as well as already inquired inquiries, and decline future job proposals. I am slowly working on closing up shop, as it were. I figure I can still take photos for family and friends on a barter system. I like to barter. Money is something I detest, especially when I ask my friends and family for it... even if it is necessary for making the finished product (and every session I have done to date I made less than I spent when all is said and done). I also realized I'm not a very self-motivated person. And then it occurred to me that I had put a lot of other passions on the back burner to try and make this business I didn't really LOVE. So, I am ending my photography business, and taking up art again. I will still photograph, because I love to do that. I plan to start painting again, and I've been working on catching up with my scrapbooking. Already the relief is flooding through me. I don't feel like my business endeavor was a failure at all. I learned a ton in the past three years; about business, photography, and myself. I view it as a success. A success that taught me that I am not cut out for that profession.
And I've generally been doing a lot of living. I've been reading a ton and writing in my private journal, SMASHing our Honeymoon, and thinking about (but not quite getting motivated enough to begin) spring cleaning. We DID finally round up the errant Christmas decor (it's hilarious how much holiday trappings we missed the first time around... mistletoe is completely acceptable spring decor, right? And that advent calendar... and stockings... and that one string of lights...), which made a huge dent in the "stuff I perceive to be clutter". If it's been lying out for a few weeks, it becomes a permanent fixture in my mind somehow. Of course, I spend a lot of my time daydreaming in general, about all the places I want to visit and all the things I want to do with my life. I am a dreamer.
So, I am beginning my series of wedding related posts, intended to highlight various vendors and Etsy sellers of awesomeness! You all will probably be checking your Bloglovin's and GFC's and will be blown away by my sudden resurgence into the bloggisphere! Get ready! Here we go!
*All wedding photos c/o Lynn Norgren Photography!
